


Is My Timing That Flawed?

by Celebrate_the_irony



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: M/M, i need to write easier to descibe fics, idk man, its like a uni reunion au mixed with My Dinner with Andre and then add a lot of gay feelings
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-10-18
Updated: 2014-10-18
Packaged: 2018-02-21 16:20:33
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,990
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2474609
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Celebrate_the_irony/pseuds/Celebrate_the_irony
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"This is the same world where ‘In this economy’ is a valid conversation starter and the word bosom is not funny in any circumstance, I think you can see why I chose not to live in it.”</p>
            </blockquote>





	Is My Timing That Flawed?

**Author's Note:**

> Hello I'm Celebrate_the_irony and I have a compulsive thing of writing 1d fanfic at 4 in the morning instead of doing school work that is due like yesterday.
> 
> I'll probably edit the ending when its not 4 in the morning nothing dramatic though. I just fear there's probably an awkwardly worded sentence in there somewhere.
> 
> Title is from Love Will Tear Us Apart by Joy Division but the Holy Holy version inspired this fanfic. The more you know.

Louis should never have agreed to this. Louis is not fit for the adult world at age thirty and the way he is going he probably never will be until at least age eighty-four. He is currently dining at a restaurant on his own while pretending to take notes from a dusty old book called _The Reproductive Life of a Flower._ The idea behind the taking notes part was that onlookers would look at him and think that he’s an intelligent scientist who simply _can’t_ draw himself away from his research, Louis is even wearing his old glasses just to make him seem smarter, unfortunately the book, which was the only one left at the op shop Louis stopped into before he got here, makes him seem more than a little odd and he can’t really see out of his glasses. But that does not put a stop to his bluff, Louis would rather people thought he was some blind depraved botanist than some sad lonely dickhead who couldn’t get a date.

The reason, by the way, that Louis is embarrassing himself at this restaurant is that he and Zayn got into one of their silly little fights. It ended the same way it always did, Zayn said something like

“I guess I shouldn’t be mad at you. You don’t live in the same grown up world that we do. You wouldn’t know what it’s like to pay your rent on time or to answer the telephone without pretending you’re a sex hotline.”

Except this time instead of Louis answering with

“This is the same world where ‘In this economy’ is a valid conversation starter and the word bosom is not funny in any circumstance, I think you can see why I chose not to live in it.”

He answered with

“I am going to prove you wrong.”

What a horrible decision that was, for now Zayn forced him to not only dine alone but also make a reservation under his actual name instead of his usual “Sausage King of Doncaster”. Zayn is also forcing him to not say, when the waiter asks him what he will be having, “A crocodile sandwich and make it snappy” or anything else that isn’t actually his order. Basically Zayn told him that if anything he thinks about doing tonight makes him giggle for more than a second he is definitely not allowed to do it.

So Zayn once again has sapped all the fun out of Louis’ life. At least he had until it happened. Louis was deep into his pretend research and he looked up to see if anyone was buying this act when he saw him. His old straight university crush. Harry fucking Styles has entered the fucking building ladies and gentlemen and he is taking no prisoners his good looks may kill everyone in this godforsaken place. This was all fine and dandy at first nothing like a bit of eye candy to liven up pretend research. Harry spotted him and waved, Louis died a little inside and waved back, Harry moved on to his table. Nothing to worry about. Louis started to get considerably worried however after his meal came with a certain Harry Styles. He sat himself down in the chair opposite Louis and said.

“I’ve just been stood up and you’re dining alone so I thought why not catch up with an old friend.” Harry said as though it was the perfectly logical solution. Louis sort of stared in awe and horror at Harry, he can’t be for real can he? As if he wanted to spend time with daggy old Louis, not even Louis himself wants to spend time with Louis. Oh god… he thinks Louis is dining alone. Louis _is_ dining alone but he can’t let Harry think that, quick think up an excuse something _anything_.

“Oh I’m not dining alone, I mean I am but I wasn’t originally… for that would be sad and pathetic and I am clearly neither of those things.” Louis babbled. Oh shit the book that very much disproves his point, after a spot of panicking he subtly hid the book under his napkin.

“No? What happened?” Harry said distractedly. He was on the lookout for a waiter which Louis didn’t mind as it gave him more time to think up an acceptable lie.

“My friend he um… had a sudden onset of… of…” Suddenly every illness Louis has ever known popped out of his head never to return, all that was left was chicken pox and “syphilis. My friend had a very sudden onsent of syphillis.” Now he had Harry’s attention, not that he currently wanted it.

“Syphilis?” Harry smirked. “Pray tell how does someone get a sudden onset of syphilis?”

“Painfully or so I’ve been told. I wouldn’t know as I’m STD free.” As of late he was also sex free but Harry definitely does not need to know that.

“So am I in case you’re wondering.” Harry replied.  Was that a…. Is he…. No no too much too handle, he is too stressed to consider it. Besides Harry is straight he had girlfriends he’d never come on to Louis who was very much a man and very much not Harry’s type. He will ignore any sort of suspected come on even if Harry  throws himself at Louis and says “Take me right here right now,” Louis will calmly say “Shouldn’t we pay for dinner first?”. Yes that is the plan, it is a good plan Louis is quite pleased with it.

“I’ll keep that in mind.” Louis said a little too quickly. “Waiter!” he yelled then picked up his glass and raised it the air. A waiter came rushing to his side and replaced his drink with a new one which Louis then took a huge gulp of.

“Could I please have-“ Harry started to ask the waiter but the waiter quickly scurried away. Harry sighed, an awkward silence engulfed them. “So erm what were you reading?” No, no, no this is not a conversation topic Louis wanted, distract him.

“Did you want some of this?” Louis said hastily and gestured to his meal. Harry shook his head.

“I’m sure a waiter will notice me eventually.” Harry grumbled. There was a pause. “Were you trying to distract me?”

“NO.. no not at all I don’t know where you would get that idea from” Louis prattled on. God help him, Harry raised an eyebrow.

“Let me look at that,” Harry said and quickly snatched the book before Louis could stop him. “The Reproductive Life of a Flower?”

“It’s not mine, I’m looking after for a friend.” Louis cried in his defence.

“The same friend with the sudden onset of syphilis?” Harry smirked.

“Yes.”

“Do you remember that time at uni when we were at the common room and this girl asked you out and you said ‘There’s no room for three in my marriage tah Jesus” and every time you saw her you’d put on a Texan accent and loudly sing This Little Light of Mine?” Harry reminisced. Unfortunately Louis did remember that, he hoped Harry hadn’t remembered when Louis had to pretend to baptise someone because she was starting to see through his act. That was a wild Tuesday.

“Well what else could I have done?” Louis said. In hindsight he probably could have just said that no, he wasn’t interested but that’s the coward’s way out. He once remembers this girl asked him out and he pretended to have been demonically possessed (“No run save yourself it’s coming back it’s aaahhHHHHH”). Although he was extremely proud of that one, Louis went to a lot of effort to make sure Harry never ever found out about it. He would never hear the end of it if he did, also it was kind of embarrassing when he went a little too far with it and ended up naked in the school fountain.

“Are you doing that with me?” Harry asked bluntly. Doing what? Oh right the thing, Louis thought he meant the possession thing and he started to panic a little.

“Rejecting you or bullshitting you?” Louis replied. Harry thought about it.

“Both.”

“Ok fine yes I am completely shitting you, my- ” Louis started to babble.

“The Great Louis Tomlinson finally tries to pull the wool over my eyes and he does the shittiest job he’s ever done? I’m sorry Lou but you’re just going to have to do it again.” Harry interrupted him looking downright offended. What’s happening? Is Louis supposed to know because he doesn’t.

“Beg your pardon?”

“I have been waiting for you to do one your grand lies to me ever since you told that professor that your assignment was a day late because you were too busy fighting crime with your faithful sidekick Buddy. You need to do something better than my mate had a sudden onset of syphilis.” Harry explained. Louis was still confused. “Ok what would you say if I asked you out on a date?”

“Pick me up at seven,” Louis replied without thinking. Oh shit, no, fuck, NOT PART OF PLAN, PREPARE PANIC STATIONS…. Harry broke out into a grin, oh he thinks it’s a joke thank god. 

“Pretend you don’t want to date me Lou.”

“That’s going to be pretty hard, I don’t know if I have to the talent to ignore my never ending love for you.” Louis joked but not really.

“Ok well what if I asked you where is that report that should have been on my desk last Friday?” Harry said.

“What are you talking about?” Louis frowned. Did he blackout and is now having one of those weird dreams? He’ll look down in a second and realise he’s not wearing pants. He was brought out of his thoughts when Harry slammed his fist on the table.

“Damn it Tomlinson, I needed that report on Friday and I didn’t have it. Give me one good reason why I shouldn’t fire you this instant.” Harry yelled. Oh god he’s yelling at him, do something to stop the shouting do anything to stop the shouting

“How DARE you ask me to do this when you know _perfectly_ well that I couldn’t handle it?” Louis threw his voice around the restaurant because every patron here deserved to hear the absolute atrocious lies he was about to tell.

“Tell me Tomlinson how you can’t manage a report on our mid-annual figures?” Harry had somehow managed to make himself bigger and more intimidating in his chair. Little does he know that this is what keeps Louis young.

“Because my wife was one of those figures!” Louis cried out. A mere mortal would say that no one would ever believe nor make any sense of that but then they clearly have never seen Louis Tomlinson when flustered. Louis can make this work, it may sound unlikely but this is one of his more logical outbursts.

“She… what?”  Understandable reaction. Louis can work through this.

“Last year when she first fell ill, the company helped pay for her medical expenses and then when she…. the funeral…” Louis trailed off, he looked away from Harry. “I couldn’t look at those expenses, I just couldn’t.”  He was actually genuinely getting emotional about this imaginary wife. If he didn’t know any better he’d say he was tearing up but he couldn’t be, he’s not that good.

“Oh god Lou I’m so sorry I….. Wait. Not real. Fuck Lou you are better at this than I remember.” Harry laughed off the weird role play thing they just did. “Are you crying?”

“I didn’t think I was,” He wiped his eyes and sure enough he was. “Wow I’m buying my own bullshit that’s embarrassing.” And he was also babbling. Wonderful. Just what he wanted to make this outing spectacular.

“It was believable until I remembered you weren’t married.” Harry said what Louis will take as a complement.

“I could have been.” Louis pointed out. Harry doesn’t know him.

“Or were interested in women.” Harry smirked. Ok maybe Harry does know him.

“Ah yes well my hypothetical boss doesn’t need to know that.”

“Your secret is safe with me.” Harry said and tapped the side of his nose with his finger.

“Is that waiter ever going to notice you?”

“I think he’s made at me because I ruined his table settings.” Harry gestured at the table that only had one set of cutlery on it. “If he keeps ignoring me he won’t have to put another set down.” 

“Look just have mine I was planning to get McDonald’s after this anyway.” Louis pushed his plate towards Harry.

“Why come here then?” Harry asked confused although he still picked up a leaf from Louis’s salad and started munching on it. Should he tell him? Does the plan allow for Louis to admit his immaturity? As far as Louis knows it’s just for flirting purposes. Why does he even have this plan? Louis thought he wanted to get it on with Harry. He doesn’t know any more, maybe he just liked the comforting idea of a plan without actually having one. Which sounds a lot like his life when he comes to think about it. Damn it Louis is going plan free, fuck the plan. He’s just going to do what he damn well pleases which at the moment is having a nice time with Harry.

“If I’m being honest, I’m currently in a bet with my flatmate. He thinks I can’t function in the adult world which if I think about it he’s probably right. I was supposed to eat a meal on my own without doing anything fun.”

“Such as?”

“Well normally by now I would have made at least seven jokes about the waiter’s baguette most of them in front of the waiter. And I would have made a big thing about how much this food cost, probably by getting out of my chair and worshiping it because at these prices it’s making me religious or something I haven’t had time to think about that one.”

“You really haven’t changed since uni have you?” Louis was brought out of his train of thought by this comment and looked at Harry. He looking at Louis as though the sun was shining out his arse, Louis had no idea why. “Most people have lost that… that spark that makes them, I don’t know how to say this without making it clichéd but that thing that makes them good to be around. But not you, you’re something special.”

“Special’s a good word for it.” Louis said dryly.

“No I didn’t mean it like that, I meant like you’re different. No wait the good kind of different, not the sets fire to small bugs kind of different” Harry was getting all flustered. Louis knew exactly what Harry meant, he just really enjoys Harry when he’s nervous, he blushes and it’s the most adorable thing Louis has ever seen.

“Is the talk we have before you ask if I’ve ever seen a therapist? Because I have and she said I was a functional human being if not a little eccentric.”

“I’m trying to complement you, you dick” Harry snapped. Louis laughed.

“Well thanks. I’m really feeling the love here.”

“God you’re so difficult. I’ve never met anyone as difficult as you, I can’t compliment you, I can never tell what you’re feeling or anything and I couldn’t ever tell you I have a huge crush on you.” Harry said almost wistfully. Louis had to physically stop himself from spitting out his drink. No that is not ok, you do not bring that up now especially not when all Louis can afford is water. He’s gonna need to raid Zayn’s drinks cabinet when he gets home.

“You liked me?!” Louis said shocked. Harry nodded. “But… but… I liked you. You can’t say that now, think of all the missed opportunities.”

“Of what? You babbling something like ‘I must go my great grandmother needs her laces tied’? Lou back then you were in no state for any sort of affection. If I told you I like you you’d probably drop dead of shock.” Harry laughed but it was a kinda sad laugh. A cover up your emotions laugh. Louis didn’t like that laugh.

“Well yes I probably would have. But I was only like that because of you; normally I’m a little less highly strung. I would have eventually gotten up from the floor I passed out on and say I liked you back.” Louis said in his defence, how low exactly is Harry’s expectations of him?

“Oh yeah? Tell me, how did you get with your last boyfriend?” Harry said disbelievingly. Louis got a little smug then.

“I made the first move _actually._ We were in a club and I pulled him into the toilets and gave him a good going over if you catch my drift.” Louis smirked.  He had never been more proud of a drunken toilet blow job.

“You’re kidding me. What? You? You’d never.” Harry seemed more surprised than Louis expected. Louis was a little offended if he was being honest.

“In fact I got around a fair bit in uni as well; I was referred to as the town bike in the GSA. Why did you think all the girls thought they had a shot with me?” Louis asked. He genuinely was the school slut, he was trying to block out Harry by sleeping his way through the gay male population and it worked well. Louis never complained about this system except for that one time he got chlamydia and he cried for days. He’s kinda surprised Harry never found out about this… actually no he’s not he remembers he worked very hard for Harry not to hear about all this. He couldn’t cope with Harry thinking anything bad about him.

“You what?” Harry stammered.

“Well I did all that because of you. I thought you were just some straight boy who’d never like me so I thought I could fuck those feelings away y’know. It didn’t work but it made me sort of forget I had them so I guess it kinda worked in a different way. I don’t know, I’m babbling, what I’m saying I guess is that it’s your fault I’m such a slut.” It was Louis’ turn to do a laugh to cover up your feelings.

“No what you’re saying is that I had a very high chance with you but I blew it, because I was too busy trying to be straight.” Harry said. He sounded upset; Louis didn’t know he was that irresistible to be upset over.

“You mean you’re not?” Louis asked. Ok what? Why did Louis not get this memo? Do you know how much money Louis could have saved on condoms if he knew this?

“No not exactly, I’m bisexual but back then I wasn’t ok with it at all. At the time I was really into the girls I dated but in the back of mind I was like ‘but I like Louis more’. I couldn’t deal with that. I thought… I don’t know what I thought I was just confused and upset I guess. But it’s just… it’s just hard y’know when I know now I could have saved myself from a lot of fucked up feelings if I had just told you that I’m in love with you.”

“So when did you figure things out?” Louis asked, mostly out of curiosity, the moment you discover you’re queer is always an interesting one. For Louis it was when he saw Brad Pitt semi naked in _Thelma and Louise_ at age sixteen and Louis just went “Holy fuck I’m gay.” It all truly clicked though when he made out with Timothy Henderson after school at the back of the bike sheds. Timothy was the star football player and Louis nearly died.

“Funnily enough about a year after we finished uni I ended up drunk with my boss at the Christmas party. And I asked him afterwards aren’t you married or something and he went no I’m divorced and bisexual. And that’s when it all clicked, it’s almost like I completely forgot that bisexuality existed or something until that very moment. It sounds stupid but unfortunately it’s true.”

“Supply cupboards are always a fun learning experience.” Louis remarked.

“Well this got deep quickly. I was kinda just expecting a semi awkward dinner and we’d never see each other again.” Harry laughed awkwardly. 

“Yeah I feel that.” Louis agreed not sure what to say.

“I never thought we’d be talking about our darkest innermost secrets.”

“Maybe if _someone_ hadn’t have gone around declaring their love we wouldn’t have gotten into this mess.” Louis joked really trying to relieve the tension that suddenly appeared. He’s not sure how it appeared one second they’re bonding on a deep emotional level the next they’re…. wait. “Did you just say that you’re in love with me? Like, in present tense as opposed to when we were awkward teens.”

“I… yeah. Yes I did.”

“So does that mean that you’re still in love with me?”

“Yeah I suppose I am.” Harry said casually. But his eyes betrayed him, they were looking all over Louis trying to decipher whether that was the right thing to say or not. Louis was not sure how to feel about this, he never thought in a million years that straight boy he fell in love with in uni would be saying he’s in love with him eight years later in a snooty restaurant Louis went to on a dare. He’s not confused about whether he still likes Harry because he knows he does; it’s just a lot to take in. Is it possible to pause this conversation so he has time to look up the walkthrough? He needs to know the repercussions of this conversation so he doesn’t fuck it up. He doesn’t want to fuck it up; he really likes Harry… maybe that was his answer.

“Well that’s good because y’know unrequited love stories these days are so clichéd.” Louis said and made a dramatic hand gesture. Harry smiled at that.

“I’d suppose you’d know a good story.” Harry said dryly and held up _The Reproductive Life of a Flower_.

“Geez Louise you tell a guy you love him and this is the thanks you get.” Louis said flippantly. Harry eyes widened at that.

“Wait. You love me too?”

“Um yeah did I not just say that?” Louis frowned at him.

“I think we should leave right now before we make one hell of a scene in front of all the other customers.” Harry said calm and controlled as he stood up. Louis smirked.

“Well alright then.” Louis said as he got out his wallet and put all the money he had on the table. He didn’t even mind that he was overpaying them, it was thanks for helping him with his date with destiny or something cheesy Louis didn’t know he was a bit distracted right now with Harry giving him one of the most intense stares he’s ever gotten. He supposes years of pent up emotion will do that to you. The second Louis stood up he was dragged out of the restaurant by his sleeve. They reached the pavement and Harry pressed him up against the wall of the restaurant and kissed him. Every now and then Harry would break away and murmur “I love you” as though he couldn’t quite believe Louis was there to hear it, Louis couldn’t quite believe it either.

After all this Louis thinks he’s proven that he’s at least semi capable of living in the adult world. At the very least Zayn’s going to be slightly impressed that he managed to sort out his repressed feelings without making one dick joke. And isn’t that what adulthood is all about?


End file.
